Remember my last post about being bad at taking vacations? Well, greetings from 30,000 feet.

Something came up that required my attention across the country so I pushed pause on my vacation and hopped a flight this afternoon. This wasn’t a total surprise as the potential for a vacation interrupted appeared last week before we departed. As a family we discussed it and as a family we decided I should go. But, this isn’t the first time it’s happend.

Thanks to the magic of 4squareand7yearsago I received an email this morning reminding me of a similar vacation fail last year on this same spring break trip. Last year was forgivable as we were in the middle of raising our new fund. And, as anyone who has done fundraising knows, whenever a potential funding partner wants to meet you always “just happen to be in town” that day. This year is less forgivable, but well understood by the people who matter most to me.

During our recent spate of interviews for the Associate role, I was asked by one of the applicants what the work/life balance is like at OATV. My answer is probably similar to many who’ve started their own business- its a distinction without a difference. A line that clearly delineates ”life” and “work” doesn’t exist in my world. Right now, my life is a mashup of people, problems at opportunities that don’t fit cleanly into either of those boxes. For better or worse I don’t punch in at 9 and out at 5. I don’t have “work” and “life” i just have a life that I’m trying to craft for me, my family, my partners and our portfolio companies.

But, as a husband and father of 5 small kids I really struggle with the work/life balance thing. I don’t make it to every school performance, I don’t coach the kids soccer team and I’ve been known to get pulled away from family vacations, in mind and body, to handle things related to my business. I’m very fortunate to have a saint for a wife and 5 cherubic children, but it takes a lot communication, concessions and shared commitment to make it all work.

With that as a back drop, I want to share a few things we’ve found work for us as a family to help keep our feet on the ground and all pointed in the same direction.

• Family Goals- each year we set a series of family goals and each person in the family sets an individual goal. This way we’re clear on what everyone wants to accomplish and can support them in getting it done. Last year when I had to leave our vacation everyone knew my goal was to raise our fund by a certain date. Everyone supported me when I had to take a day off vacation for a pitch meeting.
• Family night- one night a week, usually Sunday or Monday, we do a family night. There is no set time limit but the agenda is the same. We start with “family business” and each member of the family walks through their priorities and activities for the week. If there are any big family issues to discuss, this is the time. We then have a lesson on something someone has learned that week. Then, we have a dessert. Its a great way to start the week on the same page.
• Family Dinner with Bests and Worsts- I know some of my contemporaries are out every night at different events or dinners, but I try to be home for dinner every night. This often means arriving at the office in the dark of the morning to fit everything in but its a tradeoff I’ve found worth making. Over dinner we go around the table and everyone says the best thing and worst thing that happened to them that day. Its something we all look forward to every night and is a great conversational catalyst. My wife will give me a hall pass one night a week if I REALLY need to be at something, but generally I try to be home by dinnertime every night. A side effect is that when I do show up at an evening event, people know I’m there with purpose. 
•  Exposure to Work- beyond the ability to be home every night for dinner, moving to the bay area has also given our family much more exposure to my work. They now understand little things about my business like the fact that we don’t actually keep the money we invest IN the office, they know the names and personalities of the people I work with and they know several of the founders we’ve backed. Its not uncommon for us to run into the office on a weekend or for some of them do to odd jobs when they’re out of school. The context for what I do and why I do it has made them every bit my partners as anyone else I work with. 

Like most people we’re constantly tweaking the list, testing out new ideas and trying to make things generally work better in a world where work and life rarely balance out. Maybe one day there will be a clearer distinction between work and life. But at 30,000 feet in the air, I can’t see it from here.